Five Days after the Paris Attacks: Fluctuat nec mergitur!

Day five after the terrible attacks in Paris. I still can't help thinking about it though I wasn't there, I don't know anyone who was there and got hurt or killed, and I think I even don't know someone who does. Paris feels close, though it's  a seven-hour drive by car.

Only seven hours. Leave here in the morning and have lunch by the Eiffel Tower. 

I told you we went to Paris in February. I had been to Paris before, twice, but only for a few hours each. I had never spent the night there. Not enough to even get a feeling for that city. But on that trip nine months ago, I suddenly found myself madly in love in Paris. 

Yes, I fall in love with cities. There are cities I love, cities I like and cities I don't care that much about. Into the first category I'd sort London, Dublin, and Paris, into the second for example Québec, Montréal, Hamburg, Oslo, San Francisco and New York. 

I was thrilled when I saw the illuminated Eiffel Tower. And it blew me away (sorry for the choice of words) when I saw the letters they projected on it: 

Fluctuat nec mergitur. She stumbles, but she will not fall. 

One of the few moments I was actually happy that I suffered four and a half years of Latin in school. Usually, I regret that I didn't take French instead. What an irony! 

During the past four days, I spent quite a lot of time on the net or in front of the television. Everything I hear makes me feel so thankful that I've never been really close to terror. We went to a live comedy show on Sunday evening, as did about 4.500 other people, and we got into the venue without being searched. No-one even wanted to take a look into the people's bags. It's strange, but I couldn't help thinking, at least for a moment: "If someone really wanted to attack us, they could come in here easily and we'd have nowhere to hide. We wouldn't have a chance. We'd be cannon fodder." I tried to shake that thought off immediately. 

Last night, I had worked until 08.15 and planned to watch the friendly in Hannover, Germany vs. The Netherlands, afterwards. Not so much for the game itself, though I really like watching football (or soccer, as some of you may call it). But to see that events like this can create feelings of defiance and togetherness. Then I learned the match was cancelled due to the probabily of a bomb attack, so I watched the news instead. Again.

This morning, I heard of the latest shooting near Paris and that another person seems have blown herself up by using a suicide vest. I watched the news. Again.

I freely admit, I feel a bit... disturbed. I know that there will always be good and evil in the world, but the impact is coming closer. I have decided for myself not to change my lifestyle even a single bit, but my mind is racing anyway. 

Fluctuat nec mergitur.