Mes Condoléances.

How can people hate so much? I don't get it. And I hope I'll never get it. 

The two of us were sitting on our sofa last night, watching the soccer game France vs. Germany. During the first half, we heard the first explosion, looked at each other, and we knew exactly what the other one was thinking: "Whatever that was, it wasn't anything good!" Then the second explosion came, and the feeling became even stronger. Until the news of what was actually happening poured out. Bit by bit.

We kept on watching rather the English and US news channels than the German ones. Just because they were faster. Around one in the morning, we fell asleep. I dreamed of gunmen running around trying to shoot everyone they could.

On Valentine's Day weekend this year, we had visited Paris. Remember, this was only a few weeks after the Charlie Hebdo attacks. You could easily tell the city was on high alert. There were groups of armed police patroling everywhere, of course especially near the tourist places. We stayed at a nice and still a bit bohémien hostel in Montmartre, enjoyed macarons and éclairs from the artisan boulangerie next door and explored the city.

on top of the Eiffel Tower on a February evening

This morning, the first thing I did after waking up was turning on the TV again. The atrocities of the attacks became clearer. Eye witness reports that literally give you goosebumps, and pictures you never wanted to see again. The strong guess that the attackers had intended to get into the Stade de France (which we had actually passed on our way back home in February), but never made it. I don't even want to imagine what would have happened if they had managed to smuggle someone in there - Stade de France holds more than 81.000 people during soccer matches.

Reporters talk about the long-term preparations these attacks must have taken. I think they're wrong. Once you have managed to find a group of willing people, all you need to do is equip them with guns and suicide vests and instruct them to be at a given place at a given time and to kill as many people as they can. I'm sure people who know where to find potential attackers like these guys also know where to get the devices. It's basically that simple. And it makes it shockingly clear that it can happen again pretty easily.

Je suis désolée. Mes condoléances.